Good neighbours
The Star 28/3/2005Winning Ways By DATIN
AMPIKAIPAKAN
There was a time when homes had no fences. The only
“barrier” between a home and another were flowering shrubs, hedges or
bamboo shoots. And, yes, we did live in peaceful harmony with a great deal
of activity between the neighbours and their families. It is different
now. How many of us really know our neighbours, let alone recognize how
they look? This is basically prompted by the e-mail I received from a
reader last week. He wrote:
“Dear Datin Ampi,
I would appreciate it if you could write about the basic
ingredients of being a good neighbour if you live in a condominium. I
guess it is no different than living in a bungalow or a link-house.
However, the need for being a good neighbour becomes even more important
when living in condos due to the higher density as there is more
interaction and common facilities like lifts and swimming pool are shared.
To give you an idea of the problems one face from condo
living I'll share my experience. My wife and I moved from a bungalow into
a condominium unit. My unit shares a common lift lobby with another unit.
For about a year, we had no problems. However, recently the tenant moved
out and the owner decided to move in. He started to renovate his unit. He
placed built-ins all around the lift lobby causing congestion and
obstructing access. The other residents were forced to complain.
My reasoning is this: If people living in condominiums
are aware of the need to treat others with respect and sensitivity then
the neighbours are not inconvenienced. I hope your writing in The Star
will increase the awareness for neighbourliness in condo living, which is
now the real lifestyle in urban Malaysia.”
Isn’t it ironic that people over the years have become
more insensitive to each other in urban areas?
When I first moved into Damansara Heights, my neighbour
came home one evening while we were busy unpacking and told me that she
would pick me up the next evening and introduce me to the neighbours. So
off I went with her to get to know the people who lived around my new
home. That was 25 years ago.
Our neighbourhood has taken the trouble to nurture
relationships and we all help each other all the time. Yes we have fences
but my neighbours are quite willing to lend their homes and gardens
whenever the need arises. Today we celebrate festivals with open houses
and make it a point to introduce new neighbours so that they are in
contact with everyone.
Steps to being a good neighbour
Neighbourliness must be nurtured and exercised and it
cannot be a one-way street. You have to exercise good manners all the time
and realise that everyone is entitled to moments of privacy. The home is a
place where we look forward to go to at the end of a busy day to rest and
relax. So, consideration is the key. Yet, you hear horror stories
of how neighbours have forced people to move! Let us then look at what it
takes to be a good neighbour – particularly if one lives in a condo.
Respect your neighbours and see that you do not do
anything to annoy them. For one, consider noise pollution, especially at
night.
If you want to have parties, go ahead but keep the noise
level down. Blaring your music for the whole neighbourhood to hear is not
a good idea. They may not like your taste. Along with this, remember that
people can hear home repairs, car honks and domestic arguments.
You just have to live one floor below to feel the
vibrations of moving furniture, family squabbles and sound systems.
If you have pets, keep them on a leash or keep them
locked up if they are unstable. Just look at the terrible injuries some
children suffer because of pets.
The bottom line is this: What if you were mauled by
someone’s dangerous pet? How would you react? Remember the “do unto
others” bit?
Give your neighbours some privacy. Dropping in on them
is a thing of the past unless they are bosom pals, the kids are great
friends or if they do not mind any intrusion into their private time.
If you want to borrow something, do so but see that you
return it in the condition it was given and with appreciation. If anything
gets broken, please replace it right away.
Please keep the space outside your apartment clean and
uncluttered. If you want to put a shoe rack or an equipment cupboard
outside your apartment, ask the management and tell your neighbours of
your intentions. Get their approval and see that it does not obstruct the
passageway.
Wherever you live, learn to be generous about sharing
your things be it a car jack, jumper leads, chairs or crockery/cutlery –
anything that people may want in an emergency.
Help your neighbours look after their homes if they are
out of town. In a condo it may not be a problem, but in bungalow homes
watching out for each other is vital. Many people would love the offer of
feeding the fish, watering the plants, switching the lights on or off or
merely seeing that strangers are not lurking around at night.
If you are having a party, warn the neighbours that you
are entertaining and that there would be noise. Even better, invite them
and cut the hassle of their complaints.
If you are visiting someone who lives in a condo,
please do not park in a tenant's parking space. It is most annoying. If
you live in a housing estate, do not park outside someone’s home entrance.
It is also bad manners to park in someone’s porch without permission.
Use the facilities in the condo with care. You are not
the only one paying for management services. Take care of the swimming
pool. No spitting, pissing in the pool, washing your dirty feet and above
all, do not allow your kids to run riot around the pool area. Others use
the pool too. No smoking unless allowed in specified areas.
No littering please. I have seen fruit peels, peanut
husks, tissue papers and cigarette butts flying like missiles into
people’s balconies. There is no way can you trace the culprit.
Mind your manners. Teach your children to be polite and
courteous to your neighbours. When using the lift, let people who want to
get out leave first before you enter. Teach your children basic social
skills when using common services as well as the art of condo living. Do
remember that when they grow up, they will be role models.
Neighbours are like “in-laws”. They may be the best
thing that has happened to you or they may become nightmarish “out-laws”.
Being a good neighbour does take effort. If you want to create goodwill,
the least you may have to do is to have an occasional open house and get
to know the people who live around you. You may be pleasantly surprised!
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